3 Special Ingredients of a Great Marriage || Marriage is unbelievably hard! It doesn't help that we view other people's lives unrealistically. We think they have wonderful families, great spouses, &...

Marriage is unbelievably hard.

It doesn’t help that we view other people’s lives unrealistically. We think they have wonderful families, great spouses, and fortunate circumstances.

great marriage: happy marriage

But it’s an illusion the Devil wants us to buy into. Because, in all honesty, marriage is really hard and every one of them comes with its own adversities.

Revealing Truth

You may not see the struggles, but they are there behind closed doors. You only have to get to know other couples to find out.

So it’s important to destroy the illusion. It’s important to invest in our relationships; to realize that the grass may be greener on the other side, but only for a short season.

great marriage: woman leaning on fence

Because everything does have a season. And every relationship has seasons of sowing and seasons of reaping throughout its lifespan.

Combining Two

When we combine two people together in matrimony, there begins a journey of conformity. So marriage is the ultimate challenge of merging two very different hearts into one cohesive entity.

I don’t believe many couples understand the magnitude of this challenge until they are in the thick of it. We didn’t, but by the grace of God we have overcome the overwhelming issues experienced within our first ten years of marriage.

great marriage: God helping marriages

So it becomes absolutely necessary to have His Divine presence in marriage; to have Him teaching, guiding, and encouraging throughout the seasons. And the proof is in my testimony, where God has revealed to me the 3 special ingredients of a great marriage.

Receiving Counsel

1. Counsel

Where there is no guidance the people fall, but in abundance of counselors there is victory. (Proverbs 11:14)

Counsel is continuously needed for victory. We often think that our spouse needs to change, but fail to see that both parties need to adapt and grow to make a successful marriage.

great marriage: praying for husband

By seeking counsel, we improve communication, understanding, and respect for one another. And we are able to navigate the struggles of life with wisdom.

Sadly, I prayed for many years that my husband would change, but God showed me that it was me that needed changing first. And He did so through marital and financial counseling.

Now, I am quick to recognize and admit my own faults. And from this, I have learned the power of giving grace and love over condemnation and anger.

Edifying Community

2. Community

What is the outcome then, brethren? When you assemble, each one has a psalm, has a teaching, has a revelation, has a tongue, has an interpretation. Let all things be done for edification. (1 Corinthians 14:26)

It not only takes a village to raise a child, but also a marriage. And the village we commune in should reflect our values of respect, love, and everything God dictates within Scripture.

great marriage: community

By doing so, we are surrounded by a support system that gives godly advice, encouragement, and compassion. We are able to have people pray for us, let us vent in safety, and to have God speak through them when we are on the brink.

I have experienced the amazing effects of community in my own marriage. Through peers and mentors, my hope in Christ has been strengthened and so has my relationship with my spouse.

Refining Grace

3. Christ

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

God is always in control. He allows our weaknesses and temptations to refine and strengthen our marriage.

And He uses people and circumstances to deliver guidance and understanding. The problem is when we ignore God, trying to go it alone.

great marriage: condemning woman

We may be successful in manipulating through silence, condemning through spiteful words, or physically forcing our beliefs onto our spouse. But a marriage like this is not fruitful and will not last throughout the seasons.

Though with God, we are able to learn the selfishness of manipulation, condemnation, and force. We are able to learn how to love like He does and how to have a great, cohesive marriage.

Getting To Great

Though my marriage will never be perfect, it is great. Life will continue to throw difficulties our way, no matter how long we have been together.

But God has strengthened our marriage through counsel, community, and Himself. He has made us stronger so that we can easily overcome hardships.

great marriage: happy couple

And I pray that you, with God’s help, continue to invest in your marriage. Because it can be quite rewarding to come out on the other side with a truly great marriage!

For a free list of my best marriage resources, please enter your email address below. These resources have significantly helped my marriage, and I hope they will for yours as well!

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  1. Great tips and explanations here! I can’t understand how two people could make a marriage last if they didn’t have Christ in it. He is the third strand and both husband and wife need Him to make any relationship work, especially one such as this!

  2. Yes! Extremely difficult, but extremely fulfilling! My hubs and I have been able to learn the beautiful lesson that is God’s supernatural grace. It is one of the most important things to put on the table of marriage. We all need grace… we all need to be forgiven. 7 years is not a very long time being married. However, I believe we have learned a lot of lessons in our short time of thwarting our lives together, than some marriages ever learn. You are so right! Ever marriage goes through seasons of sowing and reaping! It’s important to keep this perspective while scrolling through pictures and posts of others’ lives. Focus on our own lives, focus on God. <3 Thank you for sharing!

    • The first years are some of the hardest! It’s putting two lives together and there’s so much just to learn from that. Then, add all the other things like life’s changing seasons and it’s no wonder that many people find divorce as their answer to problems. I just hope that people allow God the opportunity to be in their marriages and to administer grace where it is so desperately needed!


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