It had almost been seven months since my sister-in-law, Mindy, passed away.
It had been that long since I wept over her. I don’t mean the kind of crying that’s easily covered up with makeup or sunglasses.
It’s the kind of crying that comes from deep within the soul. A heart-wrenching, body-shaking sort of anguish that can’t be silenced, calmed, or covered up.
It overwhelmed me this morning, like the Red Sea coming down upon the Egyptian soldiers, as God loosed the waters to swallow them up. During my sobs, I cried out to Him, “My son needs his aunt and she needed my son!”
You see, Mindy had a step-daughter at one point, but then lost contact with the little girl after the divorce with her father. She loved her so much, and it seems torturous to not be able to see someone you love anymore.
But my son would always be her family. She could have loved him without fear of ever losing him.
Needing God More
Beyond that, Mindy loved all children. She often preferred to be around them more than adults.
And that is what breaks my heart. My son needed to experience the love of his aunt and she needed to experience his.
But God said, “He doesn’t need her.” My sobs just kept coming after that.
His words reminded me of when He spoke to me a few weeks ago concerning my son. God said,”He [my son] needs to need Me more than he needs you.”
Revealing His Truth
As a mother, that is hard to hear. I questioned, “Does my son even need me then? Can’t I pass away like Mindy and it not matter because he has You?”
Yes, I was feeling sorry for myself. I was hurt that God said my son didn’t need Mindy and so I thought, why would he even need me?
God responded, “You are a blessing to your son and your son is a blessing to you. Mindy was also a blessing. I AM before the blessing.”
It seems such a simple revelation, but His truth opened my eyes to what blessings really are. We, His creations, are all blessings that He forms into existence.
He has blessed me by giving me my son. And He has also blessed my son by providing me as his mother.
Yet, even after receiving this revelation, there’s still so much heartbreak lingering over Mindy’s loss. “I wish I could hug her one last time, God. I wish she had a child to love before she passed on.”
And God replied, “You will hug her again, I promise. She has more children to love and care for here than she could have ever before.”
And for Him to teach me that we are all blessings that He provides to one another is an even bigger comfort. Beyond that, it helped me to read His Word in a different light:
God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.'” (Exodus 3:14)
Seeing The Blessing
God gave a blessing to His people in the form of Moses. A human being created for His purpose of leading them to their freedom.
He provided an answer to the Israelites’ cries for help through one man. The same way God answers your needs by providing certain people in your path… or you in theirs.
Is there a difficult child you are dealing with? God has blessed that child with you as his or her mother and not someone else.
Do you have a person in your workplace that is just so challenging to be around? God has placed you in that person’s path to be His blessing to them.
Being His Blessing
There’s no coincidences in God’s plan. He took Mindy when He did because He had more need for her by His side than by ours.
She was a blessing to us for the time we had her. And even though it hurts to lose her, God’s blessing had been fulfilled by her and so she went to Him.
I am a mother to a toddler and another child on the way. Sometimes, it’s difficult to remember that I am God’s blessing to these children, especially when I am not at my best.
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)
But remind yourself that God is before the blessing…
Fulfilling His Work
He has placed you where you are so that YOU can fulfill His work and not someone else. Whether you are a parent, friend, spouse, or coworker, He has entrusted these roles to you on this day and in this place.
His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ (Matthew 25:21)
So don’t ever doubt your importance. My children may need God more, but He has blessed them with me as their mother to teach them that.
And we are all to fulfill His work and to share in His happiness. So always remind yourself, even in hard times, that you are here to be a blessing to others and to be blessed in return until the day He calls us home.
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