I AM: A Revelation On His Before Blessing || During a moment of grief, God opened my eyes to what a blessing really is. Join me as I share this revelation with you and how it changes my...

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It had almost been seven months since my sister-in-law, Mindy, passed away.

It had been that long since I wept over her. I don’t mean the kind of crying that’s easily covered up with makeup or sunglasses.

It’s the kind of crying that comes from deep within the soul. A heart-wrenching, body-shaking sort of anguish that can’t be silenced, calmed, or covered up.

Blessing: upset womanIt overwhelmed me this morning, like the Red Sea coming down upon the Egyptian soldiers, as God loosed the waters to swallow them up. During my sobs, I cried out to Him, “My son needs his aunt and she needed my son!”

You see, Mindy had a step-daughter at one point, but then lost contact with the little girl after the divorce with her father. She loved her so much, and it seems torturous to not be able to see someone you love anymore.

But my son would always be her family. She could have loved him without fear of ever losing him.

Needing God More

Beyond that, Mindy loved all children. She often preferred to be around them more than adults.

And that is what breaks my heart. My son needed to experience the love of his aunt and she needed to experience his.

Blessing: Mindy and her nephew

But God said, “He doesn’t need her.” My sobs just kept coming after that.

His words reminded me of when He spoke to me a few weeks ago concerning my son. God said,”He [my son] needs to need Me more than he needs you.”

Revealing His Truth

As a mother, that is hard to hear. I questioned, “Does my son even need me then? Can’t I pass away like Mindy and it not matter because he has You?”

Yes, I was feeling sorry for myself. I was hurt that God said my son didn’t need Mindy and so I thought, why would he even need me?

God responded, “You are a blessing to your son and your son is a blessing to you. Mindy was also a blessing. I AM before the blessing.”

Blessing: Jesus with arms extended

It seems such a simple revelation, but His truth opened my eyes to what blessings really are. We, His creations, are all blessings that He forms into existence.

He has blessed me by giving me my son. And He has also blessed my son by providing me as his mother.

Comforting Words

Yet, even after receiving this revelation, there’s still so much heartbreak lingering over Mindy’s loss. “I wish I could hug her one last time, God. I wish she had a child to love before she passed on.”

And God replied, “You will hug her again, I promise. She has more children to love and care for here than she could have ever before.”

Blessing: woman and child on beachMy sobs of sorrow turned into ones of thankfulness. To know that He is taking care of her is a great comfort.

And for Him to teach me that we are all blessings that He provides to one another is an even bigger comfort. Beyond that, it helped me to read His Word in a different light:

God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.'” (Exodus 3:14)

Seeing The Blessing

God gave a blessing to His people in the form of Moses. A human being created for His purpose of leading them to their freedom.

He provided an answer to the Israelites’ cries for help through one man. The same way God answers your needs by providing certain people in your path… or you in theirs.

Blessing: difficult child

Is there a difficult child you are dealing with? God has blessed that child with you as his or her mother and not someone else.

Do you have a person in your workplace that is just so challenging to be around? God has placed you in that person’s path to be His blessing to them.

Being His Blessing

There’s no coincidences in God’s plan. He took Mindy when He did because He had more need for her by His side than by ours.

She was a blessing to us for the time we had her. And even though it hurts to lose her, God’s blessing had been fulfilled by her and so she went to Him.

I am a mother to a toddler and another child on the way. Sometimes, it’s difficult to remember that I am God’s blessing to these children, especially when I am not at my best.

Blessing: woman in kitchenAnd sometimes it is tempting to feel like I am not needed in there lives because, truthfully, all they really need is God:

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)

But remind yourself that God is before the blessing…

Fulfilling His Work

He has placed you where you are so that YOU can fulfill His work and not someone else. Whether you are a parent, friend, spouse, or coworker, He has entrusted these roles to you on this day and in this place.

His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ (Matthew 25:21)

Blessing: woman in field

So don’t ever doubt your importance. My children may need God more, but He has blessed them with me as their mother to teach them that.

And we are all to fulfill His work and to share in His happiness. So always remind yourself, even in hard times, that you are here to be a blessing to others and to be blessed in return until the day He calls us home.

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  1. So sorry for your loss! Your sister-in-law must have very special!
    Thanks for the reminder of how we are blessed and why we are where we are!
    Heart-warming post!

  2. “He has placed you where you are so that YOU can fulfill His work and not someone else.” I love this! It helps us to pick ourselves up and do what needs to be done, what only we can do for the people around us.

  3. Such a beautiful post. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and pain. I pray for God’s comfort and soothing to be bigger than your loss.

    The revelation that God is before the blessing is so big! Wow. We get too focused on the blessing and forget who it came from. “He has placed you where you are so that YOU can fulfill His work and not someone else.” This is such a similar statement that i remind myself as well as my therapy clients. This helps me to focus on my roles right now but also excited for the places God will take me in the future. God Bless!

  4. oh my goodness. Such a loss! I’m so sorry. Please remember it’s ok to not be ok. The deep sobbing is natural. don’t let guilt make the grieving worse. the grief is great because the love was great!

  5. It’s life experiences like this that, through the pain, bring us closer to God than we ever imagined. I’m sorry for your loss and am thankful to hear that you remaining faithful to Christ. Much love!

  6. I am so sorry for the loss of you SIL. This is a wonderfully written post. Thank you for sharing your story. I lost my son four years ago as a newborn, and it is something you never get over, but through my faith in Christ I have been able to persevere.


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