God led me to Romans 1:1.
Paul, a bond-servant of Christ Jesus, called as an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God, (Romans 1:1)
What is so significant about this sentence? I referred to the notes in my study Bible on the word bond-servant.
And once I read the long notation, I thought, I don’t know if I can be your bond-servant, God. My shocking confession: I’d consider myself a partial servant, at best.
Standing On Indecision
I’m standing on the threshold of God’s front door- half in and half out. When I began to inch my way inside is when I started spending lots of time with and obeying Him.
It had been a slow process, but God prefers the tortoise and the hare version when it comes to our walk with Him. But now I’ve reached a crossroad… a point of indecision.
He had asked me a few weeks ago to completely sanctify myself. I must admit that I ignored His urgings, even as they became more noticeable.
Until one day I said, “God, I don’t think I can fully commit to being your bond-servant!” Because a bond-servant is like Paul, James, and Peter.
Hesitating To Change
They were persecuted, even undergoing extreme hardship like stoning, imprisonment, and public ridicule. Even though I live in a time and place that doesn’t practice those horrible acts, there’s still persecution.
And, admittedly, I’m hesitant to give up some of the things He has convicted me of because of it. I’m hesitant to change my lifestyle- to shed the fat clinging to my spirit and weighing it down.
But over the past three months, I have started small. I used to listen to aggressive music during workouts because I had better results and motivation with it.
It never bothered me before because I wouldn’t really pay attention to the words or meanings behind it all. I just fed off the energy and the passion to get through my exercises.
But then God brought my thought-life into the mix. He emphasized that everything I watch and listen to really does matter.
Even if I didn’t pay attention to the content, I consumed it all just like subliminal messages. I was passively indoctrinating myself to sexist, racist, and hateful jargon.
The same occurred with the shows I watched. I was watching shows like Game of Thrones and Orange Is The New Black; I was being entertained by just as sexually immoral and graphic movies.
When God started convicting me of these things, I began to walk away from them. Yet, recently He has called me to completely sanctify myself.
Calling To Sanctify
God said I was ready to, but sadly, I didn’t feel ready. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy anything with family, friends, and even my spouse.
Already I could feel the strain of not being able to watch my husband’s favorite shows with him. And I am afraid to tell people that I can’t partake because of God’s calling for me.
I know from my own relationship with God that He’s kind and generous. He’s sacrificed His Son for me because He loves me so much.
Yet even knowing that God isn’t like a slave owner as we understand one to be, I still resisted His calling for me. Why?
God knew what was in my heart and responded, “It isn’t a burden and sacrifice to submit to Me. When you willingly sanctify yourself, worldly desires begin to transform into My desires.”
So as I get closer to God, I want more of what He wants. My desires for personal enjoyment, pleasing others, fitting in, and financial success undergo a process of compliant metamorphosis.
God doesn’t want me to sacrifice like a Christian martyr; He wants me to have abundance, enjoyment, and freedom. He wants more for me than I could ever imagine, if I’d just follow Him completely.
‘May the LORD, the God of your fathers, increase you a thousand-fold more than you are and bless you, just as He has promised you! (Deuteronomy 1:11).
Taking His Hand
It’s taken me a long time to realize that pleasing others and attempting to fit in has never made me happy. And I believe that God is pushing me to cut off any desire to do so.
What I found entertaining before will no longer be available without conviction. It seems painful at first, but I must forever be on guard for the devil’s insurgency in every way.
No longer will I be allowed to remain a lukewarm Christian. I must relinquish my perceived freedom in order to gain all of His, and to attain His spiritual perception when I am unsure.
For He truly knows more than I do. And He has a greater vision of my life that I have yet to walk into, if I’d only take His hand and be fully led by Him.
Standing Out For Christ
Above all, I’m curious to experience what life in Christ truly means. Because God gave us more than eternal life through Jesus’ death.
He gave us peace, freedom, life, and so much more as we live and breathe today! So if you desire more of the goodness that God has made available to you, then you absolutely need to sanctify yourself.
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