I was seeking to comfort my husband.
We’ve been to marriage counseling and retreats, taken love language and personality tests. So we know each other rather well and have managed, by God’s grace, to still love each other through it all.
But over the last year, I have desired comfort for my husband. I constantly ask God to work through me, allowing me to be His vessel for love, understanding, and wisdom.
Though I have done everything I could imagine as a woman walking with Christ, I still have hit a roadblock. I realize, no matter how Christlike I become, I cannot fully provide for my husband the way he needs.
Maybe, in your own life, it’s not a spouse that’s undergoing personal difficulty. Maybe it’s a child or friend that needs an extra pouring of goodness into.
But no matter what you say, do, or don’t do, it’s never enough. This is the moment when we can either lean on God for support or attempt to fix things on our own.
In my case, I thought I had been leaning on Him. I was praying for spiritual guidance, protection, and relief for my husband, all while filling his love tank by speaking his love languages.
And I went one step further, even praying constantly for myself to be everything Christ desires me to be as a wife. So, in all honesty, I needed just as much comfort from God from all my efforts.
Causing To Distract
I needed a spiritual refreshing in order to keep praying, loving, and growing. It’s truly exhausting, and so I asked Him for help and He answered through Scripture.
But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how we may please the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:32)
This Scripture is not stating that I should divorce my husband in order to please God. It means that it is easier for an unmarried person to have an intimate relationship with God.
Why is it easier? Because marriage distracts both members from the Christ/Believer relationship.
But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world- how he can please his wife- and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world- how she can please her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:33-34)
So God is telling me that I am a woman divided. I have placed great interest and effort in comforting my husband through Christ’s goodness.
But there comes a point in our efforts when we realize that God’s goodness working through us isn’t always enough. Because we, as humans, limit God’s power.
How do we limit His power when we can do all things through Christ? Because we have vested interests in loved ones, where unconditional love can distract us from God’s will.
Just as a mother who doesn’t want to see her child struggle with addiction. Or a husband who doesn’t want to his wife to experience depression.
We go above and beyond, trying to do what we can to prevent or deter suffering and poor choices. But God, through these experiences and Scripture, teaches us the downfalls of unconditional love.
I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:35)
What God pours into us, we must pour back into Him. Our first fruits of physical, emotional, and spiritual gain should be offered to Him before offering to others.
By doing so, we place Him first in our lives. And when He comes first in every area of our lives, it shows Him complete faith.
Of course, I still want to provide comfort for my husband. But I have learned from my relationship with God, that His way is exponentially better than mine.
So whatever your relationship struggles are, whether with family or friends, realize where your concern lies. Is it on providing relief to them or on pleasing God?
Is it on administering God’s goodness or on administering goodness back on God? I am fully confident that God will answer my petitions; I am fully confident in His amazing abilities and love.
Therefore, I place my concern and focus back on Him, trusting my loved one to His care. If you need to pray over this in your life as well, here is a prayer to encourage you:
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