Are you a lost Christian? || Someone once asked me, "How long have you been a Christian?" And my ridiculous response was, "Since birth." It came out without any consideration, but I felt it was an odd question to begin with...

Someone once asked me, “How long have you been a Christian?”

And my ridiculous response was, “Since birth.” It came out without any consideration, but I felt it was an odd question to begin with.

Because being baptized as a Catholic and raised in the church, I’ve always considered myself as part of God’s household. I was more in the mudroom part of it, but that still made me a Christian, right?

Lost: mudroom shoes

So was I really a Christian since birth? I believed in Jesus Christ, but I never heard from Him or ever experienced tears of joyful worship and praise, hands lifted up in thanksgiving.

After much time and reflection, I could finally define my actual spiritual condition: Lost and Wandering Christian.

Losing Hope

I was lost and wandering in the wilderness until about thirty. Around this time, I downloaded a Bible study podcast on the book of Judges.

And throughout it, I felt a growing sense of anger and despair. Why?

Lost: sign of despair

Because if you haven’t read through Judges, let me share my thoughts. It’s one of the most horrifying books in the Old Testament and possibly all of Scripture.

From murder to rape, and idolatry to human sacrifice, it shows the ugliest side of humanity listed in fine print. And studying it, day after day, affected me greatly.

Discovering Truth

I was so fed up by the end of the study, questioning why God didn’t save so many helpless women and children. Because why would He allow such hate and violence to carry on for so long, if at all?

But despite all my imploring, the study eventually came to a close and with a surprising revelation that would shift my understanding. Because even though humans committed some of the worst acts in Judges, a beautiful story of redeeming love was actually occurring at the same time.

Lost: redeeming love

The story of Ruth, so polar opposite to the book of Judges, was unfolding. Though not a Jew, Ruth was treated with such kindness and care from someone who had the power to exploit and shame her immensely.

Understanding God

This man, Boaz, was righteous, caring, and loving towards Ruth. He would treat her with so much respect and compassion that their story was such a drastically differing image from the horrible treatment of women and children within Judges.

And within their beautiful story, Ruth and Boaz married and they would become the parents of Obed, who was the father of Jesse, who was the father of David. Continuing down the lineage, we eventually receive the Son of God: Jesus Christ, our Savior.

Lost: baby Jesus

This is the first time I fully understood God’s character… God is Boaz: Caretaker, Lover, Honorer, and Redeemer. He is merciful, giving, and in absolute control of everything.

Saving Grace

And though the worst of humanity was on display and still is today, so was the best of God’s plan. He didn’t leave us to ruin, but kept sowing the seed of saving grace.

So my message is that God seeks us, even in cruel and hopeless times. And He does so by constantly and quietly working in the background, despite our recognition of His beautiful works.

Lost: God's quiet works

And sadly, I have spent most of my life being lost to this. I suffered spiritual blindness as a Christian, not understanding the height, depth, or breadth God goes to save each and everyone of us from a life of torment and tragedy each day!

Waiting To Redeem

As a Christian, any one of us can suffer from spiritual blindness. It is God who decides to reveal Himself to us, yet we can do more than just wait around for Him to make Himself known.

We can confess that we are lost, hungering for something more in our lives. And from this place of admission, we can establish a real relationship with God.

Lost: God as Boaz

Because God is waiting to be our Boaz; he is waiting to show us His love, grace, and redemption. And He wants to be with us, but we must first express a willingness to see His truth.

A truth that has been covered up by millennia of human defiance and rebellion. So we must not shove aside that feeling of lostness, but acknowledge it and seek lasting relief from it.

Saving The Lost

Commit yourself to finding out who God is. I encourage you to seek Him with an open heart and mind.

Because when He allowed me to see Him as He truly is, my hope and purpose became restored. I felt a renewal and breaking through of joyful gladness; a saving hand in my time of need.

Lost: His Saving Hand

And I, along with God, desire for everyone to experience that transformation. To know of what it means to be loved so fully that, even during our darkest days, He has already planted our story of great redemption!

For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” (Luke 19:10)

Starting The Journey

How do we search and seek God out? By beginning this journey with prayer!

A prayer that is to be spoken from a place of vulnerability and purity. A prayer given from an open heart, mind, and spirit to God’s revealing truths:

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9 COMMENTS

  1. This hits a very raw spot in my heart today. Not for myself, but for a loved one who would have said they were a Christian since birth until recently when they have confessed they are very, very lost. And they aren’t sure that they want to find their answers in Jesus. And my heart is breaking.

  2. I love the story of Ruth! God is all about redeeming us. When we feel lost or confused, God is right there to meet us where we are at. Thanks for your transparency in this!

  3. “We can confess that we are lost, hungering for something more in our lives. And from this place of admission, we can establish a real relationship with God.” ABSOLUTELY agree. And in fact, I wonder if this is the point of real birth after all?

  4. I would say I was a wondering Christian till a few years ago! No matter how far we wander, God redeems us and brings us back to Him. Isn’t this an amazing love story?!?!

  5. This is such a great reminder. The older I get and the more I understand the depth of God’s love for me the more I want to seek Him and be in His presence. And then the more I am able to see the blessings all around us. It’s truly amazing and overwhelming!

  6. Very moving. I have read Judges through and through. And if there is a mistake to be made, you can find it in the Old Testament. But when I realized I was no different, I began to real work of repentance. Beautiful post.

  7. I love your truthfulness about a part of your testimony. I have a similar one. Though I was raised in the church (took that for granted), I didn’t fully know the beauty of our Savior until I understood the wretchedness of myself. To grasp our ugliness, is to understand the love our Lord has for us. This year, I made a point to seek out God. To learn Him, to have His heart! Thank you for reminding me how important this is!

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