Someone once asked me, “How long have you been a Christian?”
And my ridiculous response was, “Since birth.” It came out without any consideration, but I felt it was an odd question to begin with.
Because being baptized as a Catholic and raised in the church, I’ve always considered myself as part of God’s household. I was more in the mudroom part of it, but that still made me a Christian, right?
So was I really a Christian since birth? I believed in Jesus Christ, but I never heard from Him or ever experienced tears of joyful worship and praise, hands lifted up in thanksgiving.
After much time and reflection, I could finally define my actual spiritual condition: Lost and Wandering Christian.
I was lost and wandering in the wilderness until about thirty. Around this time, I downloaded a Bible study podcast on the book of Judges.
And throughout it, I felt a growing sense of anger and despair. Why?
Because if you haven’t read through Judges, let me share my thoughts. It’s one of the most horrifying books in the Old Testament and possibly all of Scripture.
From murder to rape, and idolatry to human sacrifice, it shows the ugliest side of humanity listed in fine print. And studying it, day after day, affected me greatly.
I was so fed up by the end of the study, questioning why God didn’t save so many helpless women and children. Because why would He allow such hate and violence to carry on for so long, if at all?
But despite all my imploring, the study eventually came to a close and with a surprising revelation that would shift my understanding. Because even though humans committed some of the worst acts in Judges, a beautiful story of redeeming love was actually occurring at the same time.
The story of Ruth, so polar opposite to the book of Judges, was unfolding. Though not a Jew, Ruth was treated with such kindness and care from someone who had the power to exploit and shame her immensely.
This man, Boaz, was righteous, caring, and loving towards Ruth. He would treat her with so much respect and compassion that their story was such a drastically differing image from the horrible treatment of women and children within Judges.
And within their beautiful story, Ruth and Boaz married and they would become the parents of Obed, who was the father of Jesse, who was the father of David. Continuing down the lineage, we eventually receive the Son of God: Jesus Christ, our Savior.
This is the first time I fully understood God’s character… God is Boaz: Caretaker, Lover, Honorer, and Redeemer. He is merciful, giving, and in absolute control of everything.
And though the worst of humanity was on display and still is today, so was the best of God’s plan. He didn’t leave us to ruin, but kept sowing the seed of saving grace.
So my message is that God seeks us, even in cruel and hopeless times. And He does so by constantly and quietly working in the background, despite our recognition of His beautiful works.
And sadly, I have spent most of my life being lost to this. I suffered spiritual blindness as a Christian, not understanding the height, depth, or breadth God goes to save each and everyone of us from a life of torment and tragedy each day!
Waiting To Redeem
As a Christian, any one of us can suffer from spiritual blindness. It is God who decides to reveal Himself to us, yet we can do more than just wait around for Him to make Himself known.
We can confess that we are lost, hungering for something more in our lives. And from this place of admission, we can establish a real relationship with God.
Because God is waiting to be our Boaz; he is waiting to show us His love, grace, and redemption. And He wants to be with us, but we must first express a willingness to see His truth.
A truth that has been covered up by millennia of human defiance and rebellion. So we must not shove aside that feeling of lostness, but acknowledge it and seek lasting relief from it.
Saving The Lost
Commit yourself to finding out who God is. I encourage you to seek Him with an open heart and mind.
Because when He allowed me to see Him as He truly is, my hope and purpose became restored. I felt a renewal and breaking through of joyful gladness; a saving hand in my time of need.
And I, along with God, desire for everyone to experience that transformation. To know of what it means to be loved so fully that, even during our darkest days, He has already planted our story of great redemption!
For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” (Luke 19:10)
Starting The Journey
How do we search and seek God out? By beginning this journey with prayer!
A prayer that is to be spoken from a place of vulnerability and purity. A prayer given from an open heart, mind, and spirit to God’s revealing truths:
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